Negotiations Over the Family Reading Club

When we talk about negotiation, what jumped out of my head are the situations when buying some products, renting a place, and getting a new job. All these are typical circumstances where negotiations take place.

However, negotiations are also happening even when we are not aware of that. No matter it is when we want to reach a business deal or want to decide who is going to cook dinner.

What I am going to share with you are some of my experiences of negotiations over the family reading club.

Motivated by our toastmasters' experience, my husband and I have started a reading club among our family members and relatives since two months ago. We just accomplished our 10th meeting. Now the club is continually growing strong and having better meeting quality. However, it was hard when we first started it. Most of our family members have never experienced this kind of meeting format before. Some hold the idea that learning should be a job just for full-time students instead of for adults who finished school decades ago.

Many of them participated in the meeting thought this could be beneficial for their children. For my mom, it was an even more challenging story. Since both my brother and I have graduated from college already, my mom thought it would not be necessary for her to attend the meeting. Also, in her mind, the reading club was only for people with a good education, and she only went to elementary school. She does not want to feel embarrassed.

To get her on board, I knew I could not be too pushy. In the beginning, I asked whether she would like to frequent the meeting to show her support for me, and no need to speak if she does not want to. So she agreed hesitatingly at that time.

The next time, when one of my uncles was visiting my parents, and they were talking about this new club. So I invited him to give a presentation. He accepted but was not so sure what topic he should cover. My mom got excited when seeing me inviting my uncle. She showed her encouragement by a suggestion. “why don’t you talk about keeping good health as you are always maintaining a good lifestyle.” She said. So my uncle agreed on this topic.

After my uncle left, I called my mom again.

“Would you like to give an evaluation for uncle’s speech since you suggested this topic, and you are very enthusiastic about it?”

Still pondering, but eventually, she said, “Alright, I’ll have a try. “

I was so thrilled for another step forward.

The speech and the evaluation all went quite smoothly, so I called my mom and commended her. She was also pleased by the outcome, and I could feel her increasing self-confidence.

“It was not that scary. Perhaps I can try some other meeting roles as well.” She said.

“Exactly, you should also give a speech on something that you are passionate about.” I added.

During the next few weeks, my mom tried other roles as a joke master, the toastmaster of the meeting, and even shared her experience in yoga practice. Now she is a very active member of the club and even encourages other people to share their stories.

Similar to the negotiations with my mom, I also had numerous conversations with my other family members. Once we stepped out of the comfort zone, the achievements are remarkable.

So far, we have ten influential meetings already since August, covering many topics. There was a poetry reading from teenage members, a traditional holiday presentation, some personal growth stories from entrepreneur members, an education pathway talk from a Ph.D. member, and even some discussions on Buddhism and Confucianism. After hearing the speeches from people of different age groups, the change among my family members is tangible. Most of us realize that learning is no longer just a job for students. Instead, it should be a lifelong process. We are also amazed to find how much we can learn from different family members, and even regard this meeting as our weekly pabulum.

Although separated by thousands of miles, we are grateful that this meeting can keep our family conversations going. Being family members, we thought we knew each other well enough but still get surprised by different passions and opinions. Thanks to these conversations, we have broadened and refreshed our understanding of family values once more. This whole experience is so warming and rewarding as it connects us with the place where we came and offers us a sense of belonging while we are exploring the outside world.